I say grab it with both greedy hands if you stumble upon it, and do whatever it takes to keep it, as long as it works for you.
With somebody not in recovery, can they really ever understand your plight or your background? For those of us who are lucky enough to have escaped addiction to drugs or alcohol, there’s still a lot of things to negotiate.Nothing is cut and dry, and love is messy wherever you find it.I’ve been in and out of 12-step recovery programs (like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous) for almost 20 years.I’ve had many periods of sobriety, from a paltry four months to a lengthy seven years (and everything in between).“My boyfriend now — who is not in the program — doesn't see me as an addict.
He sees me as a smart, fun, sexy, loving mum who doesn't drink and who has changed her life. It's also awesome to have a reprieve from the world of AA, which, quite honestly, can be a fucking bore.”And, the cons of dating people who aren’t sober? And, the differences in lifestyle that don’t feel huge in the beginning of a relationship can begin to take a toll down the line.
We get so many amazing tools in the programme, and if you take them and run with them, then you can be a stellar human and the best version of yourself possible.” But, even she’s been ambivalent.
“There have been times when I’ve told myself I would never date a guy in recovery again, but I've wavered. [The relationships] can be the absolute worst or the best.”That’s because, beyond the threat of relapse, those in recovery can sometimes substitute one addiction for another.
The old “I’ve wrestled with my demons and won” line? How about a simple, “I’m a pretty hot colossal f**k up”?
It’s always a little awkward when a potential date wants to “meet you for a drink.” Telling them you’re sober feels like confessing to some horrible chronic STD.
Natasha says, “The main con is that it is guaranteed that this person has a ton of hang-ups and emotional baggage.