They’re settling for less than God intended and less than he made possible by sending his Son to rescue and repurpose our lives, including our love lives, for something more. And a Christian union can only be found through Christian dating.
Apart from questions of attraction and chemistry, which are not insignificant, the Bible articulates some roles for wives and husbands.
A husband ought to protect and provide for his wife (Ephesians –29).
Exclusivity and intentionality are ancient rituals, things of the past, and misplaced hopes. It’s not that this new line of thinking is necessarily untrue today, or that it’s not the current and corrupt trend of our culture. One of our most precious pursuits, that of a lifelong partner for all of life, is tragically being relegated to tweets, texts, and snaps, to ambiguous flirtation and fooling around. Therefore, only he can prescribe the purpose, parameters, and means of our marriages.
If fullness of life could be found in sexual stimulation, or if it was just a matter of making babies, the “forget formality and just have sex” approach might temporarily satisfy cravings and cause enough conception.
The world’s approach can provide fun and sex and children and eventually even some level of commitment, but it cannot lead to the life-giving Jesus after whom our marriages are to take their cues.
Friends who enjoy sex with “no strings attached” will find pleasure, but not the peaks waiting on the other side of mutual promises.
There is a reason the Bible doesn’t have a book devoted to how to choose a spouse.
It was not an oversight on the part of the God of all history, as if he couldn’t see into the twenty-first century.
For those whose roads are marked more by mistakes than selflessness, patience, and sound judgment, take hope in the God who truly and mysteriously blesses your broken road and redeems you from it, and who can begin in you a new, pure, wise, godly pursuit of marriage today.
Here are (some) principles for your not-yet marriages.
The happiness of marriage is not only or even mainly physical.