Now most of the women who fit my demographics already have kids, so it's not really an active filter, but on occasion I'll see an amazing profile, and the gal rings all my bells: active, intellectual, progressive, witty, but then I see, "does not have children," and I give an automatic pass. Interesting to see someone who prefers a woman with a child...usually its the opposite.
I believe the first step to bringing single childless Muslim women from the margins of community into its centre is to share stories of great early and contemporary Muslim women who lived full and beautiful lives.We need to tell our daughters that Aisha, the Prophet’s wife who led an army into battle, taught students who would go on to become among the most formidable Muslim scholars of their time and contributed more hadith than any other female, also happened to be childless. Highlighting these example is the start we need to change the Muslim community’s dismissive and pitying attitudes towards single and unmarried women into welcoming and accepting attitudes.We have grieved the loss of an identity tethered to becoming a wife and mother, rebuilt our sense of self-worth anew and moved forward.Many of us have undergone this painful metamorphosis alone, without the support ones.It seems that although I have embraced the possibility that a marriage and children may not be in the cards for me, my family and friends remain convinced that either I should be married or desperately trying to get married.
They delight in citing the Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) words that “marriage is half the religion.” So how, they ask, can I be content with an incomplete life?
We have been led to believe that the ultimate purpose of a woman is to build a home and family.
Many of us, for a host of reasons, are unable to fulfil this role and while we hold out hope that we will one day experience married life and motherhood, we also acknowledge that the older we grow, the greater the chance that we will remain single.
I wouldn't automatically pass, but people who've never have kids just aren't on the same wavelength. I also find that childless people in my age bracket are just more cosmopolitan in their lives; they have great stories of their travels -- I love listening about their trips to say, the Great Wall or Macchu Piccu, but that's the kinda of life I won't see for another 8-10 years.
Lucky for me there're plenty of mountains close by, so I'll survive.
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