There was a time not so long ago (like right before I started writing this article) when dating someone with a kid was not an option, regardless of the situation. There are extra factors to consider when someone has a kid.
The most obvious question is whether or not the mother is looking for a boyfriend or a father, or both. If I was to date a single mother, I would be wasting my time and her time.
While I’m sure the kid is a ray of sunshine, dating someone with a child when you aren’t ready to be a parent is like jumping into a ring of fire and hoping you’ll escape without getting burnt. But let’s consider that you, a single mother, find a man interested in dating you who isn’t violently opposed to parenthood.Are there certain expectations you have for this potential suitor?Luckily for women with kids, there are many men who are ready to be fathers.The right man will happily accept your child as his own if he loves you enough.Recently, he and I made plans to have a friendly, totally platonic drink to celebrate my promotion.
He canceled the day of because his youngest daughter had hit her head and he’d spent the previous night in the emergency room.The girls’ mother also had a demanding job, so she never seemed available to deal with her own children.So this brings me to my first point: If you date a man with children, you can never expect to come first.Now, let me be clear that what I’ve said is a small part of a much larger conversation with arguments on both sides of the fence, but the point I’m trying to make is that because things are different now, we have to shift our opinions accordingly.Women from a divorced marriage are not necessarily any less desirable than anyone else. For a large portion of my life I believed that having children out of wedlock was somewhat trashy.I totally understood why he had to cancel, but the situation also reminded me why he and I could never work and why I will never date a man with children again.