When I turned invisible, it took a lot longer, but it was just as painful. The hero sees this desolation, and he knows that things must change, but he does not take action. He remains invisible.♦◊♦It took our good Dr Griffin quite some time to discover the exact formula for invisibility, but you and I can recreate it any time that we want. Even though each of us can become invisible, each of us has a unique path to transparency. Take a look at your life and see if any of these elements are in your life at this time. As Lennon said, life kept on going while I was making plans, hatching schemes and building dreams.As men over 40, there comes a time in our life when we begin to feel this invisibility overcome us. In the beginning of the Hero’s Journey, we have the wasteland. The awkwardness of my teens and the partying of my twenties had led to the sowing wild oats of my thirties.
— When I first started dating again, I had a bad case of Instant Gratification.
I hit the ground running, signed up for match.com, created a profile and expected the emails and winks to start rushing in.
Even though you may have become single quickly, perhaps through a divorce, finding and becoming part of a new relationship will not happen so immediately. I was gainfully employed, had all my teeth and (grey) hair. What I realized is that I didn’t get any responses because I was aiming at the wrong target.
Your journey begins with one step, and it will continue with a thousand more in front of you. — I thought that I was quite a prize when it came to the online dating scene. When you are over 40, the days of dating 20 year old women are gone.
I need you to age gracefully and with all the qualities of a man, not a boy. The way to build that strong, unshakeable social network is by being a true friend to those who have earned it. In the movie, Dr Griffith is on his deathbed, a fatal shot drains his life away. The bones, the muscles, the tendons, the veins, the skin, the man. For you to become fully visible, a part of you must die.
You know who’s going to want to date an over 40 man with children? — As I put the above lessons into action, my life got better. As you move through this journey, there will be enemies as well as allies. You must let go of your demands and your impatience.All I knew was, that as a man, I had to take action. I rushed out into the world, signed up for dating services, started going out again, and the pain only increased. You can have a great social life, you can start dating again.You can surround yourself with those who are proud to call you their friend.I was getting closer and closer to the elixir, to the grail, but I still had miles to go. I always took women out for coffee for a first date, because it was casual, low key, and allowed us to face each other and talk and listen and learn about each other. We met at a tea house near the University of South Florida. I had discovered a love of anime and watched those crazy Japanese cartoons. Who is the man that you face in the mirror each morning? When you go out, are you relaxed and comfortable in your skin, or are you nervous and desperately trying to do things and say things that will gain her approval and get you a second date? Get out and about, and join the rest of us.— As Wayne Dyer once said, we are not human doings, we are human beings. I learned how to say “No” and tried to say it just as much as I said “Yes”. I rediscovered my love of nature and taking long walks to just decompress. You must strip away the facade and become who you truly are.We spend the evening talking about movies, television, our past, our desired future, vegan diets and read aloud from a Post Secret book. I bought each Harry Potter book on opening day and read the whole thing in a weekend. Investigate all rules and beliefs that are holding you back. You must roll away the stone of your self-imposed prison and get out here with the rest of us. Welcome._____This article originally appeared on William Mize’s Blog.Just as Harry Potter was able to pull a cloak of invisibility over himself to hide from his enemies, we feel this cloak begin to cover us and hide us from the world and the dating opportunities that are out there. We occasionally hide our feelings inside a bottle or at the end of a fork. I wasn’t thinking about a long term relationship, or about a relationship in general.