And if the cops don't find you, I will, and I'll kick your ass. You know, George, sometimes late at night, I'm balled up in the fetal position, I'm naked, I'm holding a double bourbon and I am crying like a baby.
George (after the cops said they just wanted to question Benny but arrested her on sight): Hey, you lied to me! You never see a fireman saying "Jump" and then he takes away the trampoline thing! (reading his speech for court) "I don't think my mom should go to jail for an old robbery when her real crime... Do you know what I said when I was on the phone with her last week? George: (after Ernie's attempts to "seduce" the predator fails) Hey, man, don't worry. (starts laughing) I can't say it with a straight face. So if you can't quit, it's 'cause you're self-destructive, undisciplined, (yells) AND YOU NEVER GAVE ME A BIRTHDAY PARTY WHEN I WAS A KID!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury."Angie: I wish they were unresolved. I'm gonna try to stop complaining because I don't want to be your excuse for smoking.
For two seasons, Lopez hosted Lopez Tonight, a late-night television talk show on TBS, which represented Lopez’s return to series television after co-creating, writing, producing and starring in Warner Bros.
Television’s groundbreaking hit sitcom George Lopez, which ran for six seasons on ABC.
George Lopez remains a hit with viewers in syndication on both broadcast stations and cable’s Nick at Nite, ranking as one of the top-rated shows on the network and among the top five comedies and top 20 weekly programs in syndication.
George Lopez is one of only four off-net comedies to post weekly ratings gains among households from the 2007-’08 to 2008-’09 season.
In 2014, Lopez starred in the multi-camera ensemble comedy Saint George on FX, which he co-created.
In 2013, Lopez released his second memoir, I’m Not Gonna Lie And Other Lies You Tell When You Turn 50, where he tells the unabashed and hilarious truth about aging – as only he can.
Lopez is currently on his standup comedy tour, The Comedy Get Down, with Charlie Murphy, Eddie Griffin, D. Hughley, and Cedric the Entertainer in arenas across the country.
Lopez is also starring in his new comedy series, Lopez on TV Land.
Found out he's alive, am now seeking to re-unite with him.