First thing you have to do is fill out the SATs of online dating.
You can’t proceed to the next awkward stage of eharmony until the other person responds back.
But then, you start realizing, wait a minute, no ones responding back to you.
But the new matches keep coming in, 7 a day, and you keep sending over your stage one questions, and you keep waiting for them to respond.
More recently my matches have been have been way out of my San Diego radius, as far as Los Angeles!? So since posting this blog, eharmony has CANCELED my account. Apparently in the terms of agreement they can cancel your account at any time for any reason. Because I wrote a blog about my negative, yet 100 percent accurate and true, experience!? I can only assume that’s the reason why, some how, some way they linked Single Steve with my real life eharmony account, and CANCELED me.
My distance is set to the smallest at 30 miles away. I’m not going to end up in one of their commercials. Pass this along to anyone that’s thinking about doing eharmony.com, it’s your American duty. I called and spoke to a guy, and all he could say was “all I can do is refer you to the email”, he literally said that like 7 times.
If that’s the case, please scroll down like 2 inches (that’s what she said) and get those words off your screen. Other titles include: “Dear Eharmony, because of you I’m going to have to reproduce through mitosis” “Dear Eharmony, I just bought the domain name Fuck Eharmony.com, no seriously, I did”| “Dear Eharmony, you took my money, dignity, and self respect, and all I got was this lousy blog” It’s true, I actually did buy the domain name So the purpose, the essence, of this blog, is that my eharmony subscription is ending this month. This is my second stint on eharmony.com, this last stint I signed up for 6 months. At first it’s awesome you have matches sent to you, which you review and if you like you can proceed to step 1, which is you send them multiple choice questions.
That’s always kind of awkward when you’re supposed to be “working”. You’re going to continue reading without telling any of your hot female co-workers? I had some other titles in work for this blog, but they just didn’t capture the essence of what I was trying to say. A “computer” matches you up based on “29 levels of compatibility”, which I’m fine with. Because you’re thinking, wow some super computer down at Eharmony headquarters is crunching vectors and differential equations just to find my perfect mate, and everyday you log in and see new matches, that you think are hand picked from the computer gods above.The multiple choice questions have to be picked from a provided list and the answers are already provided. Apparently girls need months and months before then can decide that they want to respond back to me with these tough hitting question?You’re probably thinking well, there has to be a glitch in the matrix.In any case, I’m baffled as to why girls just don’t close out the match if they’re not interested. What’s more likely is eharmony never deletes accounts, so I’m matched with girls that joined for the free weekend 6 months ago, and don’t even know they have a message from me in their queue.At least that’s what I tell myself, so I can sleep at night.Another thing I don’t like about eharmony is all the fucking ads. Not only are they’re charging me about 30 bucks a month, they also bombard me with ads!?