Does your body ever register fear when your partner erupts? Bring the issue to light through calm, assertive conversations when you’re both in a good mood and see if the issue can be remedied.
, which is essentially saying, “I’m not perfect.” None of us are perfect, it’s true, but to expose yourself in such a way with the one you love leaves you vulnerable to criticism or rejection.It wasn’t until my partner brought my conspicuously absent apologies to my attention that I even recognized the pattern. ) conversations and a whole lot of practice, I’ve learned to apologize when I’m in the wrong—even when it hurts like hell.Some of the earliest red flags of an abusive relationship begin with seemingly harmless questions.If your partner’s gentle “how was your day” turns to much more invasive questions like “who were you with” or “what time did you go to the store/what time did you leave the store,” they may be exhibiting overly-possessive behaviors.These are all red flags; and by accepting this behavior, you send the message that this is acceptable, that you don’t deserve honesty, that you are not equals in the partnership.
In the second scenario, I speak from experience; there are times when an apology has deep, nasty roots of inadequacy.
Before diving into the bottomless pool of worst-case scenarios, decide if an event has flipped their world upside-down. Trauma—in any form—can do crazy things to our sense of well-being, so it’s best to tread lightly while you figure out the source.
If all the not-so-horrific scenarios are ruled out, listen to your gut.?
If these types of interactions are coupled with an over-commitment to knowing your whereabouts——you may be putting yourself in a dangerous situation and should reach out to a trusted friend, family member or, if you feel your safety is in jeopardy, the Victim’s Resource Center.
While this may not seem like as big a deal as the previous red flags, the inability to say “I’m sorry” to a partner can have far-reaching repercussions.
If your partner refuses to apologize when he or she has done something wrong, this is a red flag for a perception of inequality in the relationship.