This may in part explain why what we might call “female flexuality” is having a zeitgeist-y moment.
From “it” girl Cara Delevingne’s involvements with both women and men to Kristin Stewart’s recent declaration that me not defining [myself as gay or straight] right now…is what I’m all about”; from engaged-to-a-guy Piper’s not-so-straight affairs on Orange is the New Black and even Gloria Vanderbilt’s recent revelation, while promoting her new book, of a girl/girl dalliance at Miss Porter’s back in the day; to Skirt Club, a women-only roving party in London, Miami and Manhattan, where the female owner who is married to a man says most of those who come to “play” with other women are in relationships with men, too—“heteroflexible” women are entering the mainstream.
Indeed, sociologists tell us it’s no coincidence that, as women have entered the U. workforce over the last decades—34 percent of women in the U. worked in 1950, versus nearly 58 percent by 2012—they have also begun to close the “infidelity gap,” cheating at close to the same rates as men, according to Bloomberg News.
Like women in Hollywood, those I studied live in a body-display culture with unyielding standards. A man who socialized and worked with a group of wealthy, married Hamptonites told me about two women, each married and avowedly heterosexual, each having a passionate affair with a woman—one with a woman who was her exercise coach.A therapist told me about a married woman who brought the female trainer she had long fancied on a trip to train her—and they ended up in bed.Walker, who teaches a popular “sociology of sexuality” class at Missouri State University, by phone.“The more honest dialogue we have about women’s sexual practices, the more we find these types of experiences among women who don’t claim a label other than heterosexual.” While there are no hard and fast numbers or large-scale statistics on how many avowedly heterosexual women pursue liaisons with other women, they may be higher than those suggested by the Glamour study.She noted that she had heard the term “straight whisperer” to describe the phenomenon, as in, able to whisper a straight woman into bed.“Isn’t it just that when you’re a woman who has it all, having a female lover is an experience you might allow yourself to have?
” a woman who summers in Sagaponack mused, surprised that anyone would be surprised.’m not at all surprised to hear about assumed heterosexual women having affairs with their female trainers,” said Dr.Her client, said the therapist, “believed it ‘didn’t count as cheating.” A master of the universe, I was told, found out his wife was sleeping with her female physical therapist and forgave her, presuming she would end it. A former trainer whose mostly female clients lived uptown and in the Hamptons recounted that it was not unusual for her married female clients to come on to her.“They’d say, ‘I think about you all the time,’ ” she said over lunch at a Brooklyn restaurant, where her physique (tall and ripped) and classic beauty drew admiring stares.She recalled that, before she moved West and traded training for a 9-5 job, she sometimes used that erotic connection to motivate clients.Trainers want people to succeed and feel motivated, she explained, and “if being attracted to us helps, O.“Well,” I said, “if these men are attractive and attentive to their female clients…” aturday Night Lesbian,” “Bicurious” and “MARBLE—Married but Lesbian” are all vernacular terms that point to a popular awareness that female lust can be shape-shifting, flexible.