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That’s always kind of awkward when you’re supposed to be “working”. You’re going to continue reading without telling any of your hot female co-workers? I had some other titles in work for this blog, but they just didn’t capture the essence of what I was trying to say. A “computer” matches you up based on “29 levels of compatibility”, which I’m fine with. Because you’re thinking, wow some super computer down at Eharmony headquarters is crunching vectors and differential equations just to find my perfect mate, and everyday you log in and see new matches, that you think are hand picked from the computer gods above. I mean, I feel bad if you’re at work right now reading this, and the biggest letters on your screen involve the words FUCK YOU. So after you completed their riddles and questions, you then can start receiving “matches”, hurray! Also, thank you for taking the time to read this during work. Also if you’d like to take this opportunity to tell your female single co-workers about this blog, and ask them if they want to date me, I wouldn’t be mad. Fuck Eharmony.com, which I couldn’t believe was still available. Now the tricky thing about eharmony is, it takes two to tango.

You don’t even notice that she hasn’t responded because your distracted by the new excitement of these new matches.But then, you start realizing, wait a minute, no ones responding back to you.You still hold on to it, and check to see if you won, you know, just in case.Or maybe that’s why girls don’t respond back to me? Two dates where I was probably settling, compromising and giving in, just to go on dates. Not at all, they were perfectly normal, fine people, just not the match for me. It’s literally a 40 minute survey asking you the same question 37 different ways.

First thing you have to do is fill out the SATs of online dating.

You can’t proceed to the next awkward stage of eharmony until the other person responds back.

So you send over your questions for stage 1 of 4 and then you have to wait for them to respond. But it’s fine, you don’t really care that this person hasn’t responded in a day or two because each day you get a new batch of matches hand picked by these computer gods as people that match you on 29 levels of compatibility.

There’s always a chance that she decides 5 months later, yep, todays the day I answer that guys multiple choice questions.

And me being a man of statistics and math, knows that even though it’s only a half percent chance she will actually respond, that’s half a percent chance for every single one of the 748 girls.

But the new matches keep coming in, 7 a day, and you keep sending over your stage one questions, and you keep waiting for them to respond.