It helps to realize that the fear of being rejected for being gay and the fear of being rejected for being HIV-positive are one and the same. On the other hand, knowing this and putting it into practice are two different things. How and when you tell people is a personal and instinctual decision, and I'm sure you'll find your own way to handle it as gracefully as you leapt over that first coming-out hurdle.Just as with coming out, there's no right way or wrong way to go about revealing that you're HIV-positive . If you're dating, though, be aware that it's a crime in many states not to disclose your status before putting someone at risk.Love, Danny I've been dating a man for about eight weeks now and it's starting to get serious, which is all right with me because I've been looking for a long-term relationship. I thought to myself, okay, so it seems like a little thing, but can I really spend the rest of my life sitting across the table from a human mulcher? (3 meals a day) x (352 days in a year) x (30 years) = 31,680 meals I realized that if I stayed with the dentist I might have a beautiful smile, but I'd end up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting -- and I'm not that partial to Abstract Expressionism.
But then I realized that he's the one who's damaged.
Somebody who allows his fear to overtake him to the point that he'll leave me standing in the street like that has got more problems than I do, and is definitely not someone I would want to date.
In addition, I have advised people for most of my life as an actor's/model's agent, a teacher, and, more recently, as a counselor for individuals who have recently tested HIV-positive.
I think that I am in a perfect position to provide this kind of badly needed advice to the gay community. And, if safe sex really is safe, do I have to tell them at all?
It's said that if you have five good friends in this life, you're lucky. And he was fast, with both hands; chicken, French fry, chicken, French fry, and talking and breathing and eating all through the same orifice.
Right now I've got seven, and I believe that if we follow our hearts, and are honest with ourselves and others, there's no reason we can't stretch that figure into the double digits. He spat through the entire main course, and when he came out with the Cherry Garcia for dessert, I got nervous, because I wasn't wearing a spit guard and because chocolate stains.
The quality of the people in my life since HIV has greatly improved.
My relationships have become more about quality than quantity.
Immediately, I saw total terror and fear in his eyes and he literally ran away from me in the street.
That night I cried for hours, because I felt like damaged goods.
Right besides a gay bar, and how will I tell the difference between Mr. Most gay advice columns are campy and outrageous, written by cross-dressing vamps who focus on the fag-tag circuit boys.