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Only by being honest with ourselves about our fears and our demons can we begin to overcome our own prejudices.

I know plenty of HIV-negative guys who are comfortable sleeping freely with strangers they believe or assume to be negative, but the moment someone discloses that they are positive, they lock the door, paralyzed by fear and discrimination.

In the gay world, we can be sensitive to straight people criticizing or judging us, but there is an amazing amount of hypocrisy and elitism in our own backyard, much of it a result of fear and misinformation.

There are tens of thousands of serodiscordant (positive/negative) couples who are in vibrant, healthy relationships that last years or decades without one transmitting the virus to the other.

Through drugs that can often (although not always) reduce the virus to undetectable levels, PRe P, and basic safer sex practices, it is actually remarkably easy to protect both yourself and your partner. My younger self struggled to kiss someone whom I knew to be HIV-positive.

On the Mister app and on Daddy, we discourage users to use the term and ask our users to report people who do.

After all, we don't tolerate racist profiles or verbal harassment.Some brave souls add a discreet " " sign to their profile name.The dearth of proud, openly positive gay people online in most cities is a lost opportunity for all of us.Whether they know their status or not, there are hundreds of thousands of gay men living with HIV, hooking up and falling in love.Many HIV-negative men I know live and love in a seemingly blissful denial, pretending HIV isn't already enmeshed in their dating and sex lives.Everyone who is HIV-negative needs to develop a sexual health strategy that presumes that everyone we are sleeping with could be HIV-positive.