The fake tech support scam is one that’s surprisingly effective.
I have heard more than once about a 2 or 3 year old becoming alarmed when mommy and daddy aren’t talking and actually trying to physically pull them together, while urgently pleading “daddy talk mommy.” Many betrayed partners, when looking back, can recount exactly when the affair started, even though there wasn’t “disclosure” until much later.
The change in their partner’s affect; “you were acting like you were on acid” “you just turned off to me, overnight” was obvious, but the meaning could not yet be expressed.
Unfortunately, it is frequently true that when caught up in an affair you can unintentionally become disconnected from your children and their needs.
In other posts I have talked about the trancelike state of consciousness that one inhabits during an affair.
In subsequent posts I will discuss the effects on adult children of affairs and offer suggestions for parents involved in affairs on how to best support their children through this difficult time.
You may also wish to read about “Children of Affairs”.
Children feel these changes too, and for them they have suddenly lost the parent they always knew, someone else has taken their place and this is very frightening.
An anxiety with no name sets in, this anxiety can follow children throughout their entire life time and leave them with not being able to feel safe in their most intimate relationships.
You can read his blog at and follow him on twitter at @matthewhughes.
In this post I will address how children are effected by their parent’s affairs.
In many of these cases, the long-term effects on these children are not considered and the couple may be surprised years down the road at the amount of rage that the child has about what happened and how they were drawn in, and treated as another adult rather than the vulnerable child that they actually were.