"My rule of thumb is to meet in person within two weeks of making online contact." Might as well find out as soon as you can if the chemistry is virtual—or real.
Instead, "it's usually clear when you're not ready," says Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and author of .That is, "when the very idea turns you off." But you can decide that you're ready to at least try."Online dating is not only mainstream, it's one of the best ways to widen your search, rather than just hoping that you'll meet someone in the coffee shop," says Dr. And these days, there's a site for everyone, from e Harmony and Match to niche sites like JDate.Check out our Guide to Online Dating to learn the basics including setting up a profile to taking a relationship offline.But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.
So how can you make post-divorce dating—whether you're looking for a good time or a good (relationship-minded) man—less daunting?Once the idea of going on a date comes into your mind and you don't want to chase it out again, you're at least ready to start, she says. The idea is that you should consciously decide how you want to proceed," which will in turn inform how you go about meeting people.If it's truly awful, take a step back and wait some more. Gadoua, who runs dating workshops for women, asks them to free-associate words that come to mind when they think of "dating." Not surprisingly, words like "awful" and "dreadful" come up.It can be particularly good if your social circle consists mainly of other couples, or if you feel you have ‘lost' friends who ‘took sides' after the divorce.You don't have to resign yourself to a single life until your kids are old enough to be independent.Don't hide the fact that you've got children but don't go on and on about them either.