The average woman is about 5 foot 4 inches tall and weighs about 144 pounds. Most of us tend to compare ourselves to averages or to others we know.
That’s how we come to define our personal level of attractiveness.
We dated, became engaged and married in the same year.
" To some degree they do, but typically they don’t form committed long-term relationships together. Over time, after commitments are made, couples often develop more homogamy.One of my students challenged this notion in the case of her own relationship. Some develop similar mannerisms; finish each other’s sentences; dress alike; develop mutually common hobbies and interests; and parent together.I often ask my students how they met and when they tell their stories I help them to identify the geography that was involved in the process.Physical appearance is subjective and is defined differently for each individual.So, here is the million dollar question: "what if I don’t have these universally desirable traits? Here’s why, people from similar: economic class, ethnicity, religion, political persuasion, and lifestyles tend to hang out with others like themselves.
Am I excluded from the date and mate selection market? There is a principle that I have found to be the most powerful predictor of how we make our dating and mating selection choices--homogamy. Our mates resemble our parents more because we resemble our parents and we tend to look for others like ourselves.Sixty years ago if you were of marrying age, you’d most likely select someone based on how your parents felt about it; how healthy the person appeared to be; how good/moral their character appeared to be; and how stable their economic resources appeared to be. These are the types of questions and answers we consider when we study dating and mate selection. Now of those, how many would you be attracted to as a date and how many can you tell just by watching them that you’d probably never date?For men, if they have manly facial features (strong chin and jaw and somewhat prominent brow); slight upper body musculature, and a slim waist then they’d have more universally desirable traits. And we tend to find patterns that indicate that homogamy in a relationship can be indirectly supportive of a long-term relationship quality because it facilitates less disagreements and disconnections of routines in the daily life of a couple.For women: larger eyes, softer facial features and chin; fuller lips, and an hour-glass figure facilitate more universally desirable traits. I believe that we filter homogamously and even to the point that we do tend to marry someone like our parents.Homogamy is the tendency for dates, mates, and spouses to pair off with someone of similar attraction, background, interests, and needs. They find and pair off with persons of similarity more than difference. Heterogamy is the dating or pairing of individuals with differences in traits.