Dating involves knowing each other and spending time together.
For knowing each other well, you must ask the right dating questions at the right time.
Thankfully, the window isn’t too terrifying (no one is saying that you have to slurp coffee in the first 24 hours).
For instance, you cannot ask something very personal on the first date.
On the other hand, you must not be bland when you know the person you are dating.
But in all likelihood, you’re probably going to have a drink with someone who just doesn’t do it for you. I recall a friend excitedly going off for a first date with a chap - ‘I just have a good feeling about this one, he’s an academic you know’ - only to discover he was a librarian who spent the entire meal talking about dust jackets.
The sooner you can assess whether those online sparks translate into real-life chemistry, the better.
Baldly, without meeting someone, there’s only so much information you can glean about them – knowing someone’s taste in films, music, food does not a personality make. There’s a danger of idealising them and imagining your future together before you’ve exchanged a single smile.
What’s more, you have no way of telling which bits of information are true.
But the simple truth is that messaging on the internet is nothing more than a fact-finding mission.
You can gather information about the other person, but until you meet them you won’t know if ‘I love to laugh’ means Fawlty Towers or fart jokes. It’s easy to think you know a person better than you really do.
They conducted a survey of 433 online daters and found that the longer they waited to meet a match in person, the more likely they were to feel let down.
That trend that was significantly more obvious after the 17 to 23 day ‘tipping point’. That its lead researcher, Artemio Ramirez Jr., an Associate Professor, met his wife online in 2005.
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